A few philosophies, some observations and a few possibly witty thoughts. Which ones are which are up to you to decide.
Life is made up of small joys. When put together as a whole they add to a life of big joy.
We are like eggs; always with a personal shell around us, yet so easily broken within.The next time your shell is broken, may it be the hatching of an eagle with means to fly high.
Be the umbrella in someone else's storm. You may not be able to stop the rain, but at least you can help them stay dry and share a smile under the covering.
When a photographer takes a photo of something positive, using film, he's creating a negative to display a positive. We should use more negatives to create positives and see what “develops”.
Never be afraid to reach for your dreams; the stars aren't as high as you think they are. So reach up and grab them and the world will be yours.
Growing up is like going through a one-way door; there's no going back. So don't act your age; you're only as old as you let yourself feel. As for me, I'm a Toys r us kid and I ain't never gonna grow up!
When the road seems bumpy and filled with pot holes, don't give up and make a U-turn. Just get better shocks and keep driving, because better roads may just be right around that next corner, and you'll never know if you give up now.
I try not to worry until it's time to worry. Until that time comes, it's not time to worry. How do you know when it's time to worry? Don't worry about when; worrying can tell its own time.…On the other hand letting worry tell its own time is like once again letting it have control. Let “worry” worry about worrying; and let us concern ourselves with solutions instead.
Some people can only feel hatred for what they don't understand, calling what they see "ugly" without looking to see what is underneath...while if they looked behind their own mask they would see the true ugliness that defines the ugliness they see in others.
As a former manager and employer, and current employee, I have long said this: If you want to be happy with the people who work for you, make the people who work for you happy.
The Plight of a Jedi Knight: Poor Jedi Knight Ernie Bates. He was a fine Jedi, but despite all of his skills he was a tad sensitive of what others thought of him. So imagine his embarrassment when the Council promoted him to Jedi Master. Poor, poor, Jedi Ernie Bates, was heckled and laughed at when the others had to call him Master.
Here is some more ad for retail employers:
Don't tell an employee with one glass eye to "Keep an eye out for customers," or "Keep your eye on the counter."
Just trust me on that.
One of my friends, an author in progress, has gotten the phrase tattooed on her side "She reads books as one would breath air."
I would add to that that the same goes for being a writer as well. Breath in, breath out; read in, write out.
There may be only one God in heaven, but to a writer, we're gods of the worlds we create on paper.
I say there should be a pig farm in Macon, GA, and it should be called “Macon Bacon”.
Words can be dangerous or delightful.
They can be healing, or spiteful.
They can poetically wax strife.
Express love from man to wife.
Words are expressive, words are vital.
For a poet, words are life
As December and January roll around each year, I always hear the statements of people who say: "This year my resolution is not to make any resolutions." What they don’t seem to realize is that by resolving to avoid the failure of a failed resolution, they have already failed. By resolving not to make resolutions, they've already made a resolution by their resolution not to make a resolution! What they need is to resolve that resolution dilemma with a contribution of a resolution solution.
Have you heard about all the new sales tax raises that Obama is going to be putting into place? Soon the government will be taxing us for just about everything, and there’ll be nothing that lacks a tax and many things will be taxed exact.
There will be an extra charge for cab rides called a Taxi Tax…
On electronic messages called a Fax Tax…
On pants called a Slacks Tax…
On car shine products called a Wax Tax…
To curb obesity they’ll impose a Snacks Tax…
On push pins there will be a Tacks Tax…
Raising ducks will come with a bill called a Quacks Tax…
And though thong bikinis are a sight to see they will no longer be duty free; they too will have a tax on cracks.
Plus…
The traveler will find that not only what he buys has a tax but what he unpacks, and with tariffs maxing he’ll even find relaxing taxing. Inevitably there will be nothing that lacks tax; tax itself will have a tax, the amounts of tax will have no max, and even the poor will be taxed on what he lacks.
Since I often seem to be asked (don’t ask me why though) how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll lollipop. I’ll answer here once and for all:
Countless studies, both scientific and individual, have been carried out since 1931 when the Tootsie Roll Pop was first introduced unto American tongues (and since, worldwide).
With different people the results are always different. It depends on the texture of the individual tongue, the intensity of the licks, the varying acidity of salivas, etc. In some studies, the results have shown an average of 413 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop.
To get the center quicker you'd have to be a quicker licker; as in enabling your licker to flicker quicker. If you were a quicker licker, your tongue would be slicker, and then the women would love you and over you they'd all begin to bicker..
Now if you were to choose between a Tootise Roll Pop and a British lass, after you pick 'er, you take off her knicker, and then be a slicker and quicker flicker licker. And then when your ears get squeezed really hard, you'll know you got to the center of her Tootsie Roll Pop.
Little Orphan Annie always sang "Tomorrow, tomorrow, it's only a day away."
I had always felt a certain comfort by the implications of that line, but only now do I realize that I have been misled. For at any given time that she sang that song, in relation to midnight, tomorrow was less than a day away!
No wonder my days always seem so short.
Always make the most of a bad situation...
When life gives you lemons, gather them up and sell them at the market. Take the money you make and buy sweet fruits instead.
If reincarnation is real, I want to come back as a bowling ball...because that's how I roll.
Four different women in my life have accidently farted while making love with me, at some point after telling me that I brought out the best in them. I sure hope there was no connection there.
A recent fortune cookie told me, "Nature, time and patience are the three great physicians." Sounds like another lousy HMO to me.
Do cannibals eat their relatives? Do they add a cousin to their flesh cuisine? If one cannibal ate his mother and enjoyed the cuisine, might he exclaim: “That was the mother of all meals!” to express his satisfaction of the meal? If after adding his close family to the cuisine, would he say “Now that was a familiar cuisine” ?
I am the most famous person I know, easily recognized each time I look in the mirror. If you repeat an unwritten rule, and somebody writes it down, is it still an unwritten rule?
I was asked “Do you think that belief in aliens is any less rational than belief in God?”To which I answered:I strongly believe in God, and I believe that other life probably exists in the galaxy. The only thing I think that's not rational is the belief that God would create the universe and billions of galaxies and only put life on one planet among millions.
As far as everyone always trying to keep up with the Joneses, the Joneses are now bankrupt and in foreclosure. It would seem that the Joneses couldn’t keep up with the Joneses either.
Why is it that we can drink a drink, yet we eat a food? Why is that after we have had food and drink, we have eaten and drank? Why then haven't we fooded and drank? Or fooded and dranked?
Why is a wake called a wake when the corpse is anything but awake?
People who say the grass is greener on the other side of the fence probably live next door to a landscaper.
The Other You: It's ironic how the person on the inside doesn't really know the person on the outside. Someday, hopefully sooner rather than later, you will meet the person on the outside and find out how much you both have in common.
Negating a Goal by Succeeding in It: If your goal is to start something, well, as soon as you begin you're already done.
A Rhyme in Time: The hardest line in a poem to write is the first. After that, if the first line is right, the rhymes take over, and the poem writes itself.
Did you know that the upper jaw bone is called the "mazilla". The largest ape in the jungle is the gorilla. He eats with a gorilla mazilla. I'm sure your life has not been enhanced knowing that, but I threw it in anyway.
Don't keep dreaming about what you're going to do when you grow up. Start early, start now, or look back later and be baffled by the unfulfilled years behind you.
You may feel cold but you're not a refrigerator. Even when the door closes, your light stays on. Shine on.